It’s November, which means that it is National Adoption Month. This means that my social media feeds will be flooded with positive stories about adoption. People will talk about how wonderful it is, how it changes lives, how these kids could have been aborted otherwise. Do I disagree with any of that? Not particularly, no. Certainly, I am glad to be alive. But is that something ANYONE should ever have to think? Oh gee, I’m so glad my mother gave me away instead of killing me. Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it when phrased like that, does it?
Those children that weren’t aborted and were put up for adoption under widely varying circumstances grow up to be adults. Today, using the power of the internet and social media, our thoughts are being heard by the world for the first time. We are able to bring light to a side of adoption that has not, until now, been openly discussed. I say openly with some semblance of regret, since I am still unable (and unwilling) to talk about my adoption story under my real name, for fear of hurting my family.
It is not my intent to disrespect adoptive parents. I truly do think that in most cases, mine included, they felt they were doing what was best for the child. I also feel that there was not a lot of thought given to the future. No one thinks about the thoughts and feelings that child will have as they grow up. Now, there are so many studies and research proving how traumatic it is for a child to be separated from its mother. It is a trauma that lasts a lifetime. It is something that is in the back of our minds every single day and has an impact on how we live our life, whether conscious or not.
If you are an adoptee, we would love to hear you speak out. It is perfectly understandable if you are nervous about talking and hurting your family. As I said above, Ellie is not my real name. For personal and professional reasons, I am not comfortable talking about such a sensitive issue under my real name. Speak out however you are comfortable. You will be heard and supported.
If you are an adoptive parent or someone considering adoption, please keep an open mind as you read the tweets from #FlipTheScript. We do not mean to disrespect you, only to enlighten and educate. We want you to have the knowledge of what your child may feel and experience as they get older. If our voices can help any adoption situation, then we have accomplished something.
There are two sides to every story. It’s time for the world to hear the adoptees side of the adoption story. The most important side to the story.